Relationship Makeover: How Choosing Joy Changed Our Marriage

Jan 9, 2019

Well, well, well…. we meet again. I’m actually talking to this little box I’m writing in because the first time I wrote this entire post.. it didn’t save. I just about cried. But, this second time will be even BETTER! I’m talking about something that is so revolutionary, yet so simple. A change of mindset. A little bit of thinking differently. Something that has seriously changed the way Kirk and I live, breathe, and love together.

Last year, Kirk and I were so insanely busy. We allowed so much to come into our relationship and those things we allowed weren’t things that helped us. They were things like stress, work issues, frustrations, and other outside annoyances. They created doubt, resentment, and anger between us. We obviously still loved each other, but we got to the point where we picked and nagged each other, and our tempers were shorter. Let me tell you.. it is easy to allow outside influences to take hold of your relationships. It’s even easier to do what we did to change that. 2019 is the beginning of a new year, as we all know. Let it also be the beginning of renewing your relationships.

We decided to choose JOY. By looking at some of the stresses of life a little differently you eliminate the amount of stress you put on yourself and your partner, or child, or sibling (this can impact any relationship in your life). Kirk carries a LOT of stress from his job. He has over 75+ customers, makes millions of dollars worth of business for his company, and is one of the hardest working representatives I’ve ever seen- even out of anyone I’ve seen or worked with in my industry. Sure, I’m a little biased, but I’m an honest person and I can honestly say this about him. With that, he would bring home an immense amount of pressure home with him. There were times I really dreaded certain conversations. Now that we have chosen JOY he sees his job and all the stresses and frustrations that come along with running a huge territory as an enormous blessing. How blessed to have a job..period.

My stresses came from juggling all the irons in the fire I tend to hold onto. I struggle with wanting to be and do everything for everyone that I stand there balancing multiple spinning plates, and when I think I fail I pelt Kirk with those frustrations. On top of that, motherhood ain’t a walk in the park. Then, you add the duties of a wife and homemaker. Damn… some days I just wanted to quit. But, I started choosing JOY as well. Kirk kept reminding me “how wonderful to have all of us with you here and this beautiful home to live in”. He was absolutely right. I see the little things that used to contribute to our major stress as blessings I’m fortunate to have. I’ve truly mellowed out; we both have. We are better to each other, to our son, and to our jobs! More importantly, our relationship has strengthened greater than I ever thought it could.

Who knew something so small, so minute, so simple could do so much. We have been together for going on 7 years and I have to say that we are the strongest we have ever been, and with this new outlook on life and on ourselves I see our relationship continuing to gain momentum for the rest of our lives. This idea of choosing JOY has been laying there in front of us for some time now and actually came from our church. It had been on a brochure hanging on our fridge for over a year, and I suppose one day it finally emerged out of our subconscious from seeing it everyday. Choose JOY. I challenge you now to choose to see the JOYS of this life and all it has to offer.. even the bad and hard times. You’ll be amazed at the difference it can make.

Let me know if you decide to choose JOY and tell me how it works for you! I love hearing your stories and reading your comments.

Love, B



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